A Pasadena Conversation

Tonight was a 'Pasadena' evening.

I arrived home around 9p and was carrying the kids inside. A middle-aged man in shorts and a grey wife beater was taking a leisurely walk down the street. Seeing me with the kids, he commented, "Blink and they'll grow up! It goes by fast." I turned at the door and smiled. "Yes", I said. "It's true. They do grow up fast." "What a sweet old fellow!", I thought.

He added, "Yep. I'm so proud of my little girl. This weekend she's competing in her fourth bikini and football event at Hooters."

I choked on my "How nice!" and stood stupified. I stuttered, furrowing my brow and trying to think of an appropriate response. How in the world do you reply to such a statement?

"Why how nice. Will your family be watching?",
"Do you think she'll place in the wet t-shirt contest?"
"You must have trained her well."
"Did you and her mom go bikini shopping with her? Must have been a proud family moment."

Seeing my hesitation, he quickly added "She's got a good head on her shoulders." It's good to know somebody in the family does. I'm sure Hooters called her because of her nicely shaped head.

Good news, Ellawynn. The man in the wife beater says that if you work hard and eat your vegetables, you can grow up to compete in bikini contests at hooters. Do try. I'd be so proud. It will give me something to talk over with the neighbors during my evening constitutionals.